New year, new beginnings, new people, same negro

Hey y'all!  This is a brand new entry for a brand new year!  I'm typing on a brand new USED computer with a key missing, thanks to my youngest.  A lot has changed in my life that I will illustrate below.

First and foremost, I've been working since September 4, 2012.  I work at a residential treatment facility in NW Indiana called Campagna Academy.  I work with young boys ranging from ages 11 to 19.  For the most part, I am an overnight "babysitter," but I do so much more than that.  Each day presents an opportunity to share the knowledge that these young men can use going forward in their lives.  I work with kids that have been in the system, suffered from abuse and/or neglect, drugs (whether serving or using), runaways, bullies, kids with emotional issues, etc....For some, it will be an opportunity for them to regroup, while for others, it's just the next step towards prison.  This gives me an opportunity to intervene & show them the positives of staying on the right path, and if all else fails, it plants a seed in their mind if they choose to do wrong, then at least they'll know what they're in for.  I often question myself as to whether or not I am making any sort of impact.  After all, I do work the midnight shift when most of these kids should be sleeping.  I do catch the few stragglers who refuse to lie down.  If it weren't for the cameras on the unit, it would be a golden opportunity to reach & teach.  I'll make the most of my opportunities so that I can feel that my job is fulfilling.  I'm there to serve as well as earn money to help my family.

Secondly, I'm feeling a renewed sense of strength through my family.  My wife & I have been getting along better.  We decided that we are going to put down a savings plan so that we can get a bigger house.  She wants to move to Lansing or Lynwood, but I think we can do much better if we move to Homewood or even to Indiana.  She's looking at wanting the kids to go to T.F. South, but I think Homewood-Flossmoor is a much better school.  And besides, Birdie is very fast, so I’m thinking if we STAY in the area, then it would benefit her to go to T.F. North b/c they have a much better track & field program.  But, if we head back east, then we need to figure out where we’ll be.  Montgomery County has the best of everything, but it’s hella expensive!

Next business is my step-daughter.  She’s excelling in her nursing program and is making excellent grades.  She seems to be where she is supposed to be.  My youngest, Pinky, is growing & getting into mischief.  She seems to really think that she’s a cat!  She’s climbing on furniture & jumping off.  She’s learning how to talk & already knows certain words & when to use them.  She’s a pretty crafty 21 month old child.  She always keeps me on my toes & laughing hard.  Last is my Birdie, and unfortunately, I’m making many mistakes with.  She’s 4 ½ and not in school.  Unfortunately, my 5 years of unemployment has left us with very little surplus once the bills are paid.  I was hoping to send her to her district school for pre-k, but they said that she tested well enough to go to kindergarten, meaning she’s too smart for this.  I considered getting her into Head Start, but 1) they might turn us down b/c my wife makes too much money, and 2) I don’t think my wife would want her going all the way over to Harvey every day.  Harvey is no problem for me, but it’s very dangerous over there.  I think it’s more dangerous that she’s not receiving any schooling.  This time is critical, and I’m already seeing things in here I don’t like.  When I have her, I have her doing different activities.  When she’s not with me, she’s watching television, and nothing educational.  I have to keep telling those who allow her to watch to STOP letting her watch junk programming.  It irritates me to no end when people say how smart she is, but they don’t help me reinforce learning.  She needs a school environment to socialize her, not the Disney channel.  I’m more upset at myself, because I couldn’t prevent this.

Lastly, I felt terrible about things in my personal life last night while I was at work.  I was talking to my co-worker about taking a vacation, and it dawned on me that I haven’t been on a real vacation since I was a kids.  I also started to wonder if I would be able to take my family on a vacation, and it really scared me to think that we all would be cooped up in my house for another year.  It’s good for us to go to different places, but we couldn’t even go back home to Maryland to see my family.  My wife & I haven’t been alone since our honeymoon, and that was more than 3 yrs ago.  That’s an awful long time for any couple not to have some privacy.  It just seems that I’m becoming the opposite of everything I ever was, and I don’t like it at all.  I can understand why so many people lash out at the world or people start drinking and druggin’:  they need that FREEDOM!!  I’m strong like that, but I need that freedom, too.  Freedom to me is not getting a few hours to myself & eating some Panda Express before having to go to work.  That’s what I did last Saturday when my family went to DeKalb to visit my wife’s brother.  I don’t want my kids feeling that this is all they have to look forward to in life, and I don’t want my wife to feel that this is all I can provide.  This is where the Most has us, so I’ll have to find other ways to grind to get us in a better situation.  I’m blessed to have what I have, but we NEED more!

….and that Panda Express was the bomb!!! J